Know Your Enemy
I grew up listening to heavy metal music. My older brother cranked up the likes of Led Zeppelin, KISS, Black Sabbath, and, his favorite, AC/DC on his stereo every day after school. I couldn’t help but hear the screaming voices and wailing guitars through the thin walls of our small, ranch-style house. I recall stealing a page of stickers from his “Rock and Roll Over” album and plastering Gene Simmons’ cartoon tongue on my folder containing graded papers. My brother hit the roof and complained to my mother, who sighed and said, “I don’t know how either of you can like those strange men!”
Rock-and-roll has always been the music of rebels and anarchy. It often surprises people that know me as a minister when I reveal my deep love and connection to hard, driving, loud, and occasionally-obscene music. Maybe it’s my Pagan roots responding to those thrashing drums. Perhaps it’s my born-on-the-4th-of-July, independence-craving nature identifying with kindred souls singing passionately about freedom. Or maybe it’s my wicked past lives as a warrior and a pirate surging to the fore, my soul longing to once again kick someone’s behind.
See? Just talking about it ignites my renegade spirit.
So, on Tuesday, I bought the new Green Day album, “21st Century Breakdown.”
As I imagined, I love it. It’s an album filled with thrashing guitars, pounding drums, great vocals, and angst-ridden, angry sentiments. The first single, called “Know Your Enemy,” features these lyrics:
“Silence is the enemy against your urgency, so rally up the demons of your soul, the insurgency will rise when the blood’s been sacrificed, don’t be blinded by the lies in your eyes.”
Interesting. As a metaphysical person, silence is supposed to be something I treasure and seek. So why do I need so much noise like this in my life?
I certainly think silence has its place, and it plays an important role in our development as spiritual beings. But I believe anger has value, too. The darker sides of ourselves are places we sometimes fear to go. Some metaphysicians seem to pretend that they never get angry, that they never have an unkind thought about someone else, that their lives are always filled with sunshine, roses, and Vivaldi playing in the background. But we all have our darker moments, our times of rolling thunderclouds, choking vines, and Anthrax on the iPod. Should we deny these feelings and suppress them? I don’t think so. We need to allow them out into the light; we need to let them writhe around, cursing and spitting, until they wear themselves out. And then maybe we can put them away for awhile until they need attention again.
“Know Your Enemy.” For many years, I suppressed my emotions. When I was a girl, my father would explode in anger, and he scared me so badly with those outbursts that I learned early not to react to anything with such force. I got so good at suppressing my emotions that I believed I never got angry or upset about anything. This was, of course, a fallacy. I simply didn’t wish to acknowledge those feelings because they were dark and scary, and I never wanted anyone to see me lose control. To me, emotions were the enemy, and I was going to win against them no matter what.
Over the last 10 years or so, I’ve learned a lot about myself, and I’ve learned to stop suppressing my emotions. It hasn’t been an easy journey, and I’m still afraid sometimes to let people see my true feelings. But I also recognize how unhealthy suppressing my emotions has been, not just from a physical standpoint (stress and terrible discomfort in my shoulders, neck, and arms) but also from a spiritual perspective. Investigating the roots of anger issues can only help us to grow as spiritual beings. I realized not too long ago how angry I was at my father for being so angry all the time when I was a girl. I was seething inside because I felt he hadn’t supported me as a parent should a child–he’d taken no interest in my passions and rarely made appearances at school functions, making me feel unloved and unappreciated. What I realize now, however, is that he was working so hard to make a living that he neglected everything else in his life–and I believe this made him into an angry guy. Who wouldn’t be pissed off that they always had to miss their kids’ achievements? When I was able to step back and see this about my dad, my anger with him melted away. I could see his perspective through spiritual eyes, and I was able to forgive his faults and find compassion for him. I have every confidence that this experience helped me to grow as a spiritual being, and it also reinforced for me as a mother the importance of putting my family and their needs first in my life.
Anger isn’t a pretty emotion. It can be scary and uncomfortable. But I think it’s a necessary part of our experience as a human being. I don’t think we should ignore it when it rears its head, when it surges like a wave inside of us. We can process through it: punch a pillow, scream in the car or in an empty room, write furiously about what upsets us, listen to Green Day at ear-bleeding levels.
And then, we can breathe in something peaceful, something calming–the intention of releasing that anger and achieving balance again. It may take some work to get through every angry moment, or some of our old angry baggage that we’ve stuffed in the back of a closet and ignored. But we’ll only be better on every level if we can learn to look at it for what it is: an expression of our humanity, the shadow side of ourselves, a necessary part that balances us and helps us to grow.
Be well and at peace, friends, even with the darker side of you. It makes you a complete human being. xo
Tags: anger, esoteric lifestyle, green day, music, rebellion, rock-n-roll
Uncategorized | Rose | 
May 21, 2009 6:40 am | 
Comments (5)
Subscribe