The Radio Ambush

A week or so ago, I was a guest on an internet radio show. I do a lot of these since I’ve published my books, and, for the most part, I really enjoy them. I get to talk with some very interesting, smart, fun people about topics I love: mediumship, ghosts, Tarot, magick, Spiritualism, writing, the creative process, and many others. Whenever I get a request to do one of these shows, I try my best to fit it into my schedule. It’s another way to connect with more people and to spread the message that my books promote. I consider it an honor to be asked to appear, and I am grateful for the opportunity.

Most of these radio shows are done on stations that cater to a metaphysical audience. This latest one was no exception. When the host contacted me, I checked out the webpage and thought the show’s audience would be right up my alley. They’d featured interviews with other mediums, psychics, and ghost hunters. Via email, the host and I arranged a night that would work for both of us for my appearance. That correspondence took place over 3 months before my spot. In the meantime, I tried to send him copies of my books (which didn’t work out), but we didn’t really have any other contact.

The day of my appearance (which was scheduled for that evening), I received a surprising email from the host. He explained that he had a co-host on the show who was a conservative Christian and might have some questions for me about my mediumship work. I got the distinct impression from this that there might be a confrontation about religion on the docket.

Honestly, I didn’t know how to respond. The terrified, non-confrontational part of me wanted to immediately back out. I don’t enjoy fighting about anything, let alone feeling as if I have to defend my spiritual beliefs. I even wrote an entire chapter in my latest book, Ask A Medium, about a similar topic. I wrote that chapter for all of the clients and students who tell me how much they hate trying to defend themselves against radical religious types who berate them and try to scare them out of their spiritual views. I don’t like this any more than the next guy, but over the years, I’ve learned some strategies to at least feel more sure and steady when embroiled in this kind of debate. But having to do this on the radio was not my idea of a fun time.

The responsible part of me chided myself for wanting to cancel my appearance. Having hosted my own radio show, I didn’t want to leave anyone in the lurch if I backed out at the last minute. My reasonable side posited that I had not been treated fairly and told up front that this show might turn into a religious debate, and if I didn’t want to do that, I shouldn’t harbor any qualms about saying, “Forget it.” The self-righteous part of me swelled up, too, saying that I shouldn’t be driven away from an opportunity to talk about my beliefs because I was scared I would offend someone with more strident and stringent views. I should be allowed to speak my piece; after all, wasn’t that why I was invited to participate in the first place?

In the end, I dashed off an email to the host, saying that I was not very happy about the prospect of debating religion on the air, but I would do my best.

Well, I did my best–and then some, perhaps.

Look, here’s the thing: if you’re a Christian, and even if you’re not, don’t fling Bible quotes at me. Truth be told, I like the Bible, and there are some wonderful, inspirational words of great wisdom in there. There is also some stuff that is a product of its time and the many, many interpretations and translations the writings have gone through over the centuries. Using the Bible to back up your case is like building a Three Pigs house out of sticks: it won’t withstand the wind from the Wolf. The Bible can be used to support ANY argument that you want to make. Think it’s OK to kill someone? There’s certainly a lot of havoc-wreaking vengeance in the Old Testament, often initiated by Yahweh Himself. Want to sell your daughter into slavery? Go ahead–the Bible says you can! Considering consulting a medium to talk to the dead? The Old Testament says you shouldn’t, and that God will hate you if you do–but isn’t it funny that God didn’t seem to hate Jesus when he had his pow wow with Moses and Elijah on the mountain as his disciples watched? Do you see what I’m driving at here? Evangelical Christians use the Bible as the literal Word of God, but many, like the co-host of this radio show, use it to support their way of thinking while ignoring some of the other parts that don’t suit their parameters.

So, in this radio discussion, I was lambasted with Bible quotes and had my integrity as a medium called into question. How did I know I was talking to good spirits when there are lots of righteous Christians tricked by the devil? Didn’t I know it was wrong to speak to spirits? Didn’t I worry about the health of my soul?

Well, quite frankly: give me a flipping break.

I believe in intention. And I believe in a loving, nurturing God. If you set your intention to always remain in that Divine Energy that is God, then you are not going to touch in with anything in your mediumship work that is evil or negative. Why? Because God’s energy is in EVERY energy. If you set your intention to connect with the Divine Spark of God that resides within every energy, then you will be able to connect with loving, high vibration energies of loved ones who have passed as well as guides, teachers, and angels. Yes, I am aware of the warnings in the Bible that the devil can disguise himself as an angel. But why would a loving God allow this to happen? If you set your intention to connect first with God, then God is not going to allow anything negative to happen to you. Period. Nothing can harm you. You will find your peace, and you will do your work–any work–in that loving light of Creator. End of story.

So what happened in the interview? I tried to be patient, and I tried to answer the questions in a mild tone of voice and explain my position as lovingly as I could. I even threw a few Bible quotes of my own in there to prove my point about being able to use the Bible to support any position. (Another reason not to quote the Bible to me: I can quote it right back to you, mister.) But ultimately, I said, “Look. You are not going to convince me that I’m wrong, and I’m not going to convince you that you’re wrong. You have your faith, and I have mine. All we’re doing in arguing is perpetuating a negative energy cycle because we’ll wind up mad at each other. Why do that?” Eventually, the co-host relented, and the first host went on with questions about mediumship development–questions I would much rather answer.

I am not advocating disagreements here, nor am I advocating picking a fight and trying to belittle someone else. But I am advocating standing up for your beliefs. Educate yourself. One of the best ways to do this is to read arguments against your beliefs and then to come up with intelligent answers as to why those arguments don’t hold any water. If you’re going to argue theology, know your subject. Be as smart as you can about what you do so that you can present your side in a thoughtful, organized, intelligent way. Knowledge is power.

Try not to let yourself become embroiled in a heated argument, though. I did my best in this instance to control my temper. It takes a lot to make me mad, but I was mad by the end of that segment. (And hey: Jesus got mad in the Bible, too. Remember the scene he made at the temple?) But I tried to remember that keeping a cool head was only going to make me look more reasonable, and raising my voice in anger would make me look defensive. In the end, I was proud of myself for defending my beliefs and not backing down when confronted while remaining reasonable and gracious.

I was, however, quite miffed about the whole situation. I don’t think it was very professional of these radio hosts to treat me this way. I think there’s a lesson here for me about better preparation for these shows. I’ll have to be more careful, more selective, in the future. So I do thank Spirit for this, because I know it will make me a better person in the long run.

I hope some of you will find encouragement by reading this post. Be respectful, but don’t make nice; don’t back down. Your beliefs, and your integrity, are worth more than that.

The Dixie Chicks say it pretty darn well.

May blessings abound for you.

Honors and Other Scary Things

Yesterday, I went to a reception for local authors given by the Ohioana Library and the Cincinnati Public Library. I’d received an invitation in the mail and really didn’t know what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised to find such a large gathering of folks at the main branch of the public library, people who really seemed excited to welcome and honor local writers for their publishing successes. The reception consisted of introductions, a panel of sports writers talking about their work (it seems there are a bunch of Cincinnati writers penning books about the Reds!), and then a presentation of certificates to the authors themselves. During the presentation of the certificates, the hosts read a brief biography about each author, which they asked us to submit beforehand. When I’d accepted the invitation to the event, I’d dashed off my “normal” biography without a second thought and sent it in. It contains the usual information about my work as a medium ,writer, and instructor–no big changes, nothing unusual.

At least, not unusual to me. But as I sat in the audience yesterday, watching the other authors receive their certificates and listening to their biographies, I started to feel very nervous. Most of these people were professional writers with credentials as long as my arm. They taught at the university level or wrote for magazines and newspapers. Some had written countless books about heavy subjects like cancer, cardiology, the architecture of Cincinnati, or the history of the Catholic Church. Many of them had a “Doctor” in front of their names, and lots had awards out the yin-yang. And as I started sweating my background, I started to wonder how my biography would sound to all of these learned, intellectual people. What would they think of a clairvoyant medium? Would they chuckle and shake their heads over my references to Tarot reading or angels? I could just hear the snickers and the whispers as I sat there, my folded hands clutched together in an ever-tightening death grip.

Worse, what would my children think? They sat next to me, politely paying attention, well-trained from their 9 years in Episcopal school, where they sit through chapel services every week. Would they hear their mom’s biography and sink lower in their seats? Would they be embarrassed if someone in the audience laughed as I walked up to accept my certificate?

Boy, your mind can do terrible things to you, can’t it?

When my name was read out (and mispronounced, as usual), I stood and started up the aisle. It felt like I was walking in a dream, underwater, with no clothes on. I was glad I didn’t have to say anything except “thank you” to the woman handing out the certificates because I was afraid my voice wouldn’t work. When I turned to face the gathering, I spotted my husband on the side aisle, the family camera in hand. I tried to smile, but I’m sure it looked more like a grimace. I haven’t yet looked at the pictures he took; I think I’m afraid I’ll be as white as a sheet. Everything seemed amplified: the lights, brighter; the sound, magnified; my feelings of dread, intense enough to turn my stomach.

But you know what? No one laughed. At least, I didn’t see it if they did. I didn’t notice any disbelieving, shaking heads, either. And I wasn’t pelted with tomatoes. I made it back to my seat in one piece, and I sat there, staring at my certificate with the tremor in my hands melting away.

Now, why would I feel this way? Why would I assume the worst at a moment when I should be proud and happy?

It’s hard to say. Sometimes I am still afraid to speak up for my beliefs. There remains a small part of me that wants more than anything to be accepted, liked, and respected by everyone. EVERYONE. This is, I know, completely unrealistic, and yet I can’t deny that the feeling is there. I don’t like confrontation; I don’t like to have to fight for anything, because I’ve never been a good fighter. I prefer peace; I prefer compromise; I definitely prefer everyone getting along. But the world isn’t always like that, is it? Sometimes, you have to stick up for yourself. Sometimes, you have to voice an unpopular opinion because it’s the right thing to do. Sometimes, you have to realize that not everyone is going to agree with you, or, worse yet, that some people may downright not like you for what you believe, say, or do. And you have to be able to live with that.

Over the years, I know I’ve come a long way in this department. It has never been easy or comfortable for me to voice a dissenting opinion. It has been extremely difficult for me to show emotions like anger or grief because, as a child, I wasn’t allowed to have these feelings. I was expected to always be happy, sunny, and/or quiet. Only one person in my household was allowed to have feelings, and it wasn’t me. I have always been a peacemaker, a referee, the one who smoothes things over and makes it nice. I still do this; I accept that this is part of my nature, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing to embrace. And yet, I’ve learned some things about myself and the world around me. I’ve learned that I have the right to believe the things I do and to live the way I want to live, as long as I’m not hurting myself or anyone else in the process. I’ve learned it’s OK to demand respect and to have the expectation that I deserve it. I’ve learned that I’ve worked long and hard to get where I am, and in recognizing my own divinity, that I should love myself and the journey that has brought me to this place. I have learned that I can and should defend myself if I’m backed into a corner (there may be another post coming soon about this), and I should be proud of who I am, no matter what others think of me.

So, even though I’ve learned all of this, I still get nervous sometimes. Just like yesterday. And yet I was relieved and happy when things turned out well. I did belong at that reception. I worked arduously on my books, and it’s nice to receive some recognition for the work. And maybe, just maybe, someone will pick up one of the books who wouldn’t have before, because they remember seeing me there and thinking, “Well, isn’t that an interesting subject to explore?”

After the presentation, they served refreshments. As I stood in line for punch with my boys (who, after all, didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed to be seen with me), a lady approached and asked, “Are you the medium?”

“Yes,” I said with a smile.

“Can I have your card?”

I handed her one with steady hands. Will she call me? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I was there, and it was a good experience.

Blessings to you all this fine day.

xo

ASK A MEDIUM on Sale At Llewellyn!

My current book, ASK A MEDIUM , is on sale now through Llewellyn Worldwide’s website. It will make a perfect Valentine’s gift for someone you know and love—or for yourself!

Hope you’re all doing well and enjoying the lovely winter weather. We’ve got plenty of snow in my neck of the woods. I’m a little mad at the groundhog right now.

Blessings to you all! xo

Book Release Party Tonight!

I’m very excited about the book release party tonight for Ask a Medium: Answers to Your Frequently Asked Questions About the Spirit World. The party will kick off tonight (Friday, January 22, 2010) at 7 p.m. with an hour-long discussion and question-and-answer session about the book. Starting at 8 p.m., I’ll begin selling and signing books, and my terrific office partner, Joanne Franchina, will serve refreshments. I hope to have my husband take pictures of the event, so hopefully, I’ll post those soon.

If you’re in the Greater Cincinnati area, come on out for the festivities! The address of my office:

10901 Reed Hartman Highway
Blue Ash, Ohio 45242

I’d love to meet you there!

If you can’t make it tonight but can get to Hamilton, Ohio, tomorrow, I’m doing a lecture about the book and signing copies at Maiden, Mother, Crone (a small metaphysical shop) beginning at 1 p.m. The store is located at 343 South B Street, Hamilton, OH 45013-3311, and their telephone number is (513) 737-0059.‎ It will be great to connect with even more people there!

Happy Friday to all! I send you all love, peace, and blessings.

Reading List 2009

I am an avid reader. Every year, I keep track of all of the books I’ve read throughout that time period. I break them down into fiction and nonfiction, and I was surprised this past year to see how little nonfiction I read. I usually spend a lot of time reading other books about mediumship and various esoteric topics. Apparently, this past year, I needed an escape into a fictional universe more than I needed to learn something new!

Anyway, here is my reading list for 2009.

Fiction

Isabella Moon, Laura Benedict, January. ***

The Lace Reader, Brunonia Barry, January, ****

House, Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker, January, *

The Graveyard Book, Neil Gaiman, January, ****

Need, Carrie Jones, January-February, ***

Coraline, Neil Gaiman, February, ***1/2

The Likeness, Tana French, February, ***1/2

Atonement, Ian McEwan, February-March, ***1/2

Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders, Neil Gaiman, March, ***1/2

Stardust, Neil Gaiman, March, ***

M is for Magic, Neil Gaiman, March, ***

Vanishing Acts, Jodi Picoult, March, ***

Change of Heart, Jodi Picoult, March-April, ***1/2

The Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes, Neil Gaiman, April, ***

The Sweet In-Between, Sheri Reynolds, April, ***

Between Here and April, Deborah Copaken Kogan, April, **1/2

Serendipity, Louise Shaffer, April, **

Wake, Lisa McMann, April, **1/2

Fade, Lisa McMann, April, ***

Precious, Sandra Novack, May, ***

Romancing the Dead, Tate Hallaway, June, ***

The Sandman: The Doll’s House, Neil Gaiman, June, ***

Lady Macbeth, Susan Fraser King, June, *** (audio book)

The Sandman: Dream Country, Neil Gaiman, June, ** ½

The Sparrow, Mary Doria Russell, July, *** ½

Good Omens, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, August, ***

Loving Frank, Nancy Horan, August, ****

Dead Until Dark, Charlaine Harris, September, ***

Life of Pi, Yann Martel, September, *** ½

White is for Witching, Helen Oyeyemi, September ***

Black Ships, Jo Graham, October, ***1/2

The Sandman: Season of Mists, Neil Gaiman, October, ****

The Hour I First Believed, Wally Lamb, November, ***1/2

Handle with Care, Jodi Picoult, November-December, ***

Dexter by Design, Jeff Lindsay, December, ***

Prayers for Sale, Sandra Dallas, December, ***

Juliet, Naked, Nick Hornby, December, ***

Nonfiction

The Secret Life of Houdini: The Making of America’s First Superhero, William Kalush and Larry Sloman, May-June, ***

Handwriting Analysis: Putting it to Work for You, Andrea McNichol, October, ***

Glynis Has Your Number, Glynis McCants, October, ***

As you can see, I read a lot of Neil Gaiman this year and enjoyed it immensely. If you’re looking for something with magical overtones, try his The Graveyard Book, which won the Newberry Medal. It’s for young people, but I found it to be engaging, scary in parts, and utterly delightful.

Another book that had some interesting esoteric connections: The Lace Reader, by Brunonia Barry. The story is set in Salem, Massachusetts, and revolves around a young woman whose aunt reads fortunes for people in pieces of lace. It was a thoroughly engrossing story, with a twist ending and a lovely lyrical style. I also found out that Wiccan High Priestess Laurie Cabot was teaching lace reading courses in October in Salem, and Ms. Barry was going to be signing books at the event. I’d even planned to go, but when my husband lost his job in the late spring, it seemed it wasn’t meant to be. No matter–you’ll still love the book.

If you like faeries or supernatural fiction, you might try Need, by Carrie Jones. Another work for young adults, I was delighted by the story, the realistic characters, and the exciting pace of the book. In the same vein, I enjoyed Lisa McMann’s Wake and Fade, although her writing style took a little getting used to, especially in the first book. I look forward, though, to more work by these two talented ladies.

For a story revolving around faith and what it might mean in our lives, I recommend The Sparrow, by Mary Doria Russell. A challenging tale about scientists and priests finding life on another planet, it took me a while to get into it, but the effort was rewarded by rich characterizations and a compelling, emotional conclusion. I’m so happy my friend Kristy recommended this book to me!

For anyone out there who likes “chick lit” or fun Wiccan characters, you must try Tate Halloway’s series of magickal romance novels. The one I read this past year, Romancing the Dead, is the third in her series of adventures with Garnet Lacey, a wonderfully delightful Witch dating a vampire and working in a New Age store. These books are so lighthearted and humorous, they’re an easy way to pass a weekend in a cloud of fantasy and fun. I dare you not to love them.

Finally, in the nonfiction sector, I did enjoy The Secret Life of Houdini, recommended to me by my (skeptical) friend, Ron. He is a big Houdini fan and always seems to find it enthralling that, as a Spiritualist, I don’t hate the famous magician. Houdini was well-known for his passion for exposing fraudulent mediums during the height of the Spiritualist movement. I certainly don’t hate him–I think Houdini wanted to believe as badly as Mulder on The X-Files. He could just never find the absolute proof of the afterlife and the ability to communicate with Spirit that his logical mind (and chosen profession) demanded. I enjoyed reading about his life and his work–he was obviously a very talented, charming, charismatic man. I did not appreciate the allusions in the book that Spiritualists killed Houdini, but that rumor had been around for a long time, and I can’t really do anything to dispel it. Nevertheless, The Secret Life of Houdini was quite fascinating.

So, what books did you read last year that really stuck with you? I’m interested in any and all titles, no matter if they’re fiction, nonfiction, esoteric…I just love to read!