Oh, that scary Tower in the Tarot deck. It’s not a pretty card, and most of us, myself included, really hate to see it in a reading:
Doesn’t look like a happy card, does it? And do you see that female figure on the right side of the card? The one falling head-first to the ground, screaming for all she’s worth? Recognize her?
Well, it’s me.
And that guy in the red cape, falling down on the left side, that’s my husband. Aren’t we a lovely couple?
Actually, we are. We’ve just had the rug pulled out from under us, is all. Usually, we’re much quieter people. Right now, though, we’re a bit…rattled. That’s because the energy of The Tower has overshadowed our lives once again.
We’ve been here before. In 2002, right around the same time of the year, the company my husband worked for closed its doors. He literally went in for work one morning and came home jobless by lunchtime. That’s how quickly it happened. We’d been on a short spring break vacation with our boys the week before, and the loss of his job blindsided us. He was out of work until September. In that time, though, he was able to finish the novel he’d been struggling to complete, which was the silver lining inside of that cloud. Still, I was thankful when he found another job. Money worries went away, and I felt secure again.
This time, it’s been a little different. My husband has been suspicious for several weeks now that something was going on at work. Sometimes I think he should be the professional psychic in the family–he’s very perceptive, and he’d told me about the energies he’d picked up on around the office. You’d think by now I’d've learned to pay attention. Did I? No. Ever since our son was ill last summer, I’ve been craving security, trying to hang onto what semblance of “normal” that I can. I didn’t want anything to rock the boat. I’ve put off new projects and ideas I’ve had for my business so that I could recover, emotionally, mentally, and physically, from the ordeal of caring for a sick child. Now that our son is doing better, I’ve been enjoying where we are in our lives and feeling like, perhaps, I can breathe again.
A perfect chance for Tower energy to come in and shake it all up.
My husband lost his job yesterday. His company eliminated his position. In our household, he is the primary source of income and our source of insurance. As a self-employed person, I work part-time in my office as a bodyworker and reader, and, having just completed my third book, I was looking forward to taking some time off to relax a bit.
It seems that the Universe has other plans.
The energy of The Tower can be likened to an earthquake. It shakes up your world, causing old thoughts, ideas, and issues to be exposed and sifted out of your life. Sometimes, it can be a test of faith, or a time to ask, “What do I really believe?” For me, at this time, my head reels through all of the usual worries. Mortgage, office rent, tuition payments, insurance, food, everyday expenses–where will all of this money come from if my spouse is out of work? How will we make ends meet? What will we have to sacrifice? What will my husband do now?
When we’re caught in the throes of The Tower’s initial energy, it can be overwhelming. I’d be lying if I told you I was fine with all of this. When my husband called me yesterday at my office to tell me what had happened, I was stunned. I kept repeating, “I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it.” I think what I should’ve said instead, more truthfully, was, “I don’t want to believe it.” Because I didn’t want to believe this could happen to us again. I wanted safety, and the Universe gave me chaos energy instead. I could tell you that I took a deep breath and straightened my spine to face the storm. In reality, I cried and cried once my client left the office.
But what is chaos energy? It’s a way to shake up what’s in our lives, a way to force us to evaluate and to get rid of what’s no longer needed, what no longer serves our larger purpose. I know that my husband wasn’t happy at his job. He was often bored, and although he has many, many skills, he wasn’t able to use them. My heart tells me that there is something better for him to be doing, something that will challenge him in a positive way to use his talents and to really make a difference somewhere. This is what I pray will happen for him. I want him to be happy in his work, as I usually am. I want him to feel he is accomplishing what he needs to in this world. I want him to grow and learn and be the very best he can be.
I know, deep down, that this is what The Tower is delivering to us now: opportunity. Yes, it’s scary. There are things in my life I don’t want to give up. I know that the Universe is abundance, and if we can keep our minds in a positive state and recognize that abundance, we can tap into it. This is what I’m trying hard to do right now.
I know this is an opportunity for me as well, a time to reassess the projects I’ve been considering and possibly to expand my business in new ways. I may not have all the answers yet, but I think Spirit is asking me to look at the possibilities and not be afraid to try new things. It will take me some time to sort it out, but I will make the effort to do so.
And so…with the energy of The Tower swirling around us, my husband and I will pick ourselves up from the rocks, dust ourselves off, survey what has fallen away from our landscape, and repair our lives, knowing that what grows now will be more beautiful than what has been here before.
Affirmation for today: “I am safe and stable. I am one with the Universe and the Divine. I am powerful and positive. I create what I need, knowing that there is only abundance in the Universe.”
Be well, my friends…and if the Tower is causing tremors in your life, hold fast to what matters most: love. That’s what I’ll be doing, too.